Rain, lager, old goths, nudity and puking Click on pics to see 'em bigger
Sunday August 26
Rain. Where did all that sunshine go? Still, the pub is warm and dry. In every sense, as crap licensing laws mean no beer untill midday - don't they know what we need? As it happens, when we eventually get served, that first pint takes an age to get down.

Also, Sunday is "big shorts" day and nu-metal does little for us, so we're pretty pleased not to be wasting our lives by seeing hed(PE) in the rain. I've seen them in sunshine, and they sucked then, so how crap will they be in the wet?

Challenge Mariko to a drinking contest - I've never seen her pissed. She accepts and starts with beer, followed by Sidekicks. This is going to be fun.

Decide to go and see System of a Down, but it's still raining as we leave the pub, and getting worse. We get as far as Three Men in a Boat and decide that lager in the dry is preferable to System of a Down in a muddy field - no matter how good they might be.

Mariko now drinking lager.

The rain stops in time for the Cult. Sadly, they're playing loads of new material, and far too few "classics". Still, they're better than nothing.

Mariko now drinking 20/20. Oh dear...

Speaking of nothing, here come Queens of the Stone Age and Nick Oliveri is naked. Despite that they're brilliant - a proper rock band.

Mariko now very pissed and very scary.

Wolf down some vegetable tikka and get the hell out of the arena before Papa Roach and Marilyn Manson.

Sitting round the fire back at the tents, Quayley has a cunning plan to get into guest area - though I can't remember why this seemed like a good idea, though so many things do when you've been drinking for four days. We make our way back to the front of the arena, take one look at the size of the security guard at the entrance to the guest area and think better of it.

Unfortunately, this pointless trip means we catch a bit of Eminem. What on earth is he doing closing the UK's premier festival? It's utter shite - as expected - and we leave. Rapidly.

Mariko now puking. Good work!

I listen to Mercury Rev from the campsite until our neighbours return and play crap nu-metal at ear-splitting volume - thought we'd got away from that when we left the arena. Thanks, guys.

All things considered, though, a good festival this year. This ought to happen twice annually. How about one in early June, Vince? Go on, think of the profits...

Wigg didn't come this year. We missed him, so made this little tribute to him. It's the thought that counts...
A bent fag. Ahem... Go on, Mariko, get it out. You'll feel much better afterwards. Chortle
End of the festival. Night, fire, friends and lager. Perfect Thank you children. Would you do this at home? Well?
Top Quotes of Reading 2001
• "Veggie burger? What the fuck is a veggie burger?" Aussie punter
looking for breakfast on Friday morning.
Fat Reg: "It's a burger without any meat."
Aussie Punter: "That's not a burger."
• "What does Michael Jackson like on his hamburger bun?
Eight year-old meat." Donna S, the Donnas
• "Fuck off- you're shit!" Fat Reg after every song by Strokes
• "I saw them play 'You Stole the Cum From My Arse' then I left."
Dan, on the Manic Street Preachers
• "What, am I going to assault someone with half a pint of warm
lager?" Fat Reg to security guard refusing to let me carry my lager
(bought from the festival bar) into the arena
• "You could park a bike in there. Actually, you could park a
Harley-Davidson in there. Put your Fat Boy in the fat boy."
Fat Reg on Kev's builder's bum
• "Floury baps?" Dan. You had to be there, but it was funny. Probably

Reading 2001 festival puke
• Mariko